Letters to an old friend ( #3 )

             Dear Friend,


Don't know what happened with us. Actually I do have an idea. It's me. It's always me. I tend to push away the people I love most. Don't know why am I doing this. Self-preservation and self-destructive in the same time I think. I'm so afraid of being hurt  that I rather end it before it starts cause it hurts less, you know.  Anyways, I'm not sorry. You were a good guy, but I've realized you weren't the one. It was better to stop it in time. In this way you wouldn't waste my time and I wouldn't waste yours and we wouldn't have had deal with broken hearts either.(Win-Win) I remember you called me a coward. That was a harsh word but I forgave you. You were upset and you had every right though I didn't and I don't like to think of myself being a coward just because I didn't wanna take risks in relationships. I was just careful with my heart. It was once broken and I think once is enough.  You promised you wouldn't hurt me but in some ways you did and it hurt like hell. Coward you say? I say courage. Cause you turned my world around, you made me laugh, happy, loved, beautiful but in the same time you gave me the worst feelings. How could it be? Don't know, but I didn't felt safe, secure... I always taught you were too good to be true and I was always prepared to see you walk away from me. Until that day when I realized I couldn't live like that anymore, I couldn't so I did it myself, I walked away from you, from us. Courage! It took me a lot of guts to walk away...
However, I heard that you're married now. Glad to hear that and I'm honest when I'm saying this. I prayed for you after we split. I prayed for your happiness, I prayed for that girl who will find you. I want you to be happy. God knows you deserve it.
In the end I just want to remind you that, you're important and you have so much to give the world. Don't let your passion burn away. Use it! Listen to what God is whispering into your soul and let Him lead your way. Let yourself be what God created you to be. You know what it is. You know it, don't pretend is not there. 

                                                                                                       Sincerely,
                                                                                                              Anne


P.S
This is my last letter to you, farewell my friend.
May your life be filled with joy, happiness, peace and love.