You've only got one heart!

I've always taken such good care of my heart until now. Well, is not broken or anything like that. Just painfully annoying. I must say that I never was and I'll never be the kind of girl that would get into a relationship just because everybody does it or just because it's fun. My whole love thing theory is pretty simple.  Erich Fromm  once said : 'Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.' I totally agree with him. There has to be some understanding between those two: passion and reason. Somebody told me once ' Just go with the flow'. If your heart demands something just give her whatever she wants. Just do it. Wrong. Our hearts are pretty sneaky and easy to be tricked. Some nice words and they melt right away. I know...  I've been fighting with her for a couple of months now. It hasn't been easy. Sometimes I just wanna give up and take whatever I want without considering I might lose so much more. Sometimes my heart hurts so bad, I can barely breathe. There are times when I would fly away and never look back; days when I don't even have the will to get my butt outta bed, when I can't sleep, I can't eat and so on. When all I can think about is that thing. <- And that's what I hate the most. I don't wanna feel that way. You might say 'Go and get it if you want it!', but all I can think about is ' Is it really worth it? ' You might think I'm weak for not taking risks or that I'm too rational. The truth is I've only got ONE heart. One beautiful heart and I wanna take good care of her so that when I'll finally  meet the one, to be able to look into his beautiful eyes and let him know my heart waited for him faithfully. So, you call me weak? Think twice!

Now, you all know Kahlil Gibran. He was a Lebanese-American artist, poet, and writer and he is chiefly known in the English-speaking world for his 1923 book 'The Prophet' <- beautiful book. I'm gonna post a paragraph about reason and passion, from it, so make time and read it because it's... "pure art".

"Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite.
Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody.
 But how shall I, unless you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?
Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.
For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.
Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing;
 And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.
I would have you consider your judgment and your appetite even as you would two loved guests in your house.
 Surely you would not honour one guest above the other; for he who is more mindful of one loses the love and the faith of both.
Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows -- then let your heart say in silence, "God rests in reason."
And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky -- then let your heart say in awe, "God moves in passion."
 And since you are a breath in God's sphere, and a leaf in God's forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion."

...and you've only got one heart! Take good care of her...

Traiesti?

Viata e scurta, stii? Azi esti, maine nu. Te gandesti sa traiesti clipa din plin ca si cum nu ar fi un "maine". Si alergi...Alergi in dreapta, alergi in stanga, mai faci un pas in fata, inca o suta in spate, incerci sa umpli golul ce-l simti inlauntrul tau. Golul acela pe care incerci atat de mult sa-l ignori. Mimezi fericirea, gandindu-te ca pana la urma o sa devina realitate... Nu te insela...
Nu de mult am vazut un batranel lovit de o masina. Nu stiu exact cum s-a intamplat. Eram in autobuz si priveam in gol pe fereastra, cand batranelul acesta a aparut, parca, de nicaieri. Niciodata nu am vazut un accident pe viu. Cand vezi la telvizor accidente, te cuprinde poate tristetea si compatimirea pentru oamenii in cauza, insa cand se intampla chiar in fata ochilor tai e diferit; cel putin pentru mine asa e. Nu-mi amintesc sa ma fi simtit asa de rau decat atunci cand a murit bunica mea. Un sentiment straniu si urat...urat de tot, mi-a cuprins intreaga fiinta. Imi venea sa plang, sa strig, sa fug... Sa fug... Chiar a fost ciudat. Era ca si cum ar fi fost moartea acolo; raul acela care staruia in aer. Si sentimentul ala nasol m-a insotit intreaga saptamana. Mi-am dat seama atunci ca intr-o clipa se poate duce totul... Si ce-ai facut atunci? Unde te trezesti?
  Traiesti ziua de azi ca si cum ar fi ultima si esti mereu pe fuga. Alergi cat poti, sperand ca moartea nu te va ajunge.  In maratonul acesta te alimentezi cu ce poti , cu ce gasesti in drum, iei in graba toate nimicurile care iti apar in cale dorind sa "traiesti" cat mai apuci sa o faci. Adevarul e ca aceste lucruri nu fac decat sa ii dea putere mortii. In loc sa umpli golul, il maresti...si te simti tot mai pustiu, tot mai mort. Aceasta nu e viata pe care ti-ai imaginat-o cand erai doar un copil inocent. Ce-ar fi sa te opresti din alergat, sa iei un loc pe banca, sa privesti spre cer si sa-l chemi pe Creator sa umple golul din inima ta? Ai cautat destul prin resturile lumii acesteia. Ce cauti tu, nu vei gasi pe acest pamant. 
In tine, e o parte care tanjeste dupa mai mult. O parte din tine stie ca exista ceva mai mult decat lumea aceasta. Da-i mai multa putere acelei parti. Curaj sa te intinzi dupa aripile copilariei. Curaj sa te intrebi, curaj sa cauti, curaj sa schimbi mersul vietii tale. Nu te cunosc, habar nu am cum te cheama si care e viata ta, insa daca simti golul acela in inima ta, te rog opreste-te din alergat si cheama-l pe acela care s-a dat pe Sine pentru tine. Iti promit ca merita. Nu o sa fie usor dar merita. Vor mai fi furtuni in viata ta, incercari si zile proaste, am avut si eu multe, diferenta e ca intotdeauna vei avea un brat puternic de care sa te sprijini, un prieten care iti va fi MEREU aproape, indiferent de cate ori o dai in bara,  si promisiunea unei vieti vesnice alaturi de cel mai maret Dumnezeu si cei mai tari oameni care au trait vreodata. -> and an ENDLESS PARTY!!!