My life was in ruins. Everything was in black and white. My heart was shattered in pieces. I had people who loved me but that didn't make me happy. I was lost but then He found me. He found me in my darkest moments, in my ugliest hours and He brought me home. He took away the pain, the mud, the chains, all the skeletons from my closet and gave me a new identity and a brand new heart. From that moment on, everything has changed for me. I found myself waking up with a smile on my face or smiling at random people with no reason. I bet most of them thought I wasn't sane. It was like I was high or something. I couldn't control it. I was so full of joy and love that it overflowed around me.
My life suddenly became worth living. He gave me a vision, a purpose, a call. The happiness I found in Him is irreplaceable. All my fears were swept away, my doubts, my insecurities, my worries; all of them- like they've never been there. He saw right through me. He saw all my flaws and my sins and still stood there in front of me, calling me His love! Lately, I've been asking myself what did He saw in me, so worthy to be saved? Cause I feel like such a failure... God saved me, loved me, took me in His arms and carried me when I hadn't the strength to carry on and I still have days when I turn my back on Him and walk away like I don't care. I mean, what in the world it's wrong with me? And it kills me...hurting Him. Sometimes I just wanna give up cause this thought - that I will never be good enough, cause in the end I'm human and I'm going to fail anyway- is messing with my mind. But then I think at all of the things God made for me, all the joy he brought into my life and I know, I wouldn't be able to live without Him in my life and even if I could, I wouldn't want to, cause He's the best part of it.
And I know...I know I mess up all the time, I know I am not a good person all the time. That I hate sometimes, I envy, I'm not offering my help when I should, that I close my eyes on things I shouldn't... I know I don't make Him proud every day and I constantly let Him down, but I just can't quit on trying. I can't imagine my life without Him. I can't imagine living my life like nothing happened. Like He's not there...when I know He is, when I saw and felt Him, when I know He is real and He loves me in spite of everything, when I know what He sacrificed for me...I just can't! That's why every single time I feel like giving up or to ashamed to ask Him for forgiveness I read Lamentation 3:21"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope
It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."
God is LOVE and He is JOY and He is FORGIVENESS. He doesn't want the death of the sinner but the redemption. He FORGIVES and unlike humans, he FORGETS.
So, you've messed up?
Tell your Daddy! He'll know what to do!
Maybe you can't turn back the hands of time to undo what you've done,
but there's always hope for new beginnings!
