You've only got one heart!

I've always taken such good care of my heart until now. Well, is not broken or anything like that. Just painfully annoying. I must say that I never was and I'll never be the kind of girl that would get into a relationship just because everybody does it or just because it's fun. My whole love thing theory is pretty simple.  Erich Fromm  once said : 'Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.' I totally agree with him. There has to be some understanding between those two: passion and reason. Somebody told me once ' Just go with the flow'. If your heart demands something just give her whatever she wants. Just do it. Wrong. Our hearts are pretty sneaky and easy to be tricked. Some nice words and they melt right away. I know...  I've been fighting with her for a couple of months now. It hasn't been easy. Sometimes I just wanna give up and take whatever I want without considering I might lose so much more. Sometimes my heart hurts so bad, I can barely breathe. There are times when I would fly away and never look back; days when I don't even have the will to get my butt outta bed, when I can't sleep, I can't eat and so on. When all I can think about is that thing. <- And that's what I hate the most. I don't wanna feel that way. You might say 'Go and get it if you want it!', but all I can think about is ' Is it really worth it? ' You might think I'm weak for not taking risks or that I'm too rational. The truth is I've only got ONE heart. One beautiful heart and I wanna take good care of her so that when I'll finally  meet the one, to be able to look into his beautiful eyes and let him know my heart waited for him faithfully. So, you call me weak? Think twice!

Now, you all know Kahlil Gibran. He was a Lebanese-American artist, poet, and writer and he is chiefly known in the English-speaking world for his 1923 book 'The Prophet' <- beautiful book. I'm gonna post a paragraph about reason and passion, from it, so make time and read it because it's... "pure art".

"Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite.
Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody.
 But how shall I, unless you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?
Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.
For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.
Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing;
 And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.
I would have you consider your judgment and your appetite even as you would two loved guests in your house.
 Surely you would not honour one guest above the other; for he who is more mindful of one loses the love and the faith of both.
Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows -- then let your heart say in silence, "God rests in reason."
And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky -- then let your heart say in awe, "God moves in passion."
 And since you are a breath in God's sphere, and a leaf in God's forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion."

...and you've only got one heart! Take good care of her...