Take some minutes to watch this video... Then take some time to think about what God did for you. Someone wrote once : "I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than to live my life as if there isn't  and die to find out there is." This life can be awesome too without all the shitty things you do "for fun"... Don't fool yourself, you know you're missing something... >:d<

Letters to an old friend ( #3 )

             Dear Friend,


Don't know what happened with us. Actually I do have an idea. It's me. It's always me. I tend to push away the people I love most. Don't know why am I doing this. Self-preservation and self-destructive in the same time I think. I'm so afraid of being hurt  that I rather end it before it starts cause it hurts less, you know.  Anyways, I'm not sorry. You were a good guy, but I've realized you weren't the one. It was better to stop it in time. In this way you wouldn't waste my time and I wouldn't waste yours and we wouldn't have had deal with broken hearts either.(Win-Win) I remember you called me a coward. That was a harsh word but I forgave you. You were upset and you had every right though I didn't and I don't like to think of myself being a coward just because I didn't wanna take risks in relationships. I was just careful with my heart. It was once broken and I think once is enough.  You promised you wouldn't hurt me but in some ways you did and it hurt like hell. Coward you say? I say courage. Cause you turned my world around, you made me laugh, happy, loved, beautiful but in the same time you gave me the worst feelings. How could it be? Don't know, but I didn't felt safe, secure... I always taught you were too good to be true and I was always prepared to see you walk away from me. Until that day when I realized I couldn't live like that anymore, I couldn't so I did it myself, I walked away from you, from us. Courage! It took me a lot of guts to walk away...
However, I heard that you're married now. Glad to hear that and I'm honest when I'm saying this. I prayed for you after we split. I prayed for your happiness, I prayed for that girl who will find you. I want you to be happy. God knows you deserve it.
In the end I just want to remind you that, you're important and you have so much to give the world. Don't let your passion burn away. Use it! Listen to what God is whispering into your soul and let Him lead your way. Let yourself be what God created you to be. You know what it is. You know it, don't pretend is not there. 

                                                                                                       Sincerely,
                                                                                                              Anne


P.S
This is my last letter to you, farewell my friend.
May your life be filled with joy, happiness, peace and love.

Letters to an old friend ( #2 )

            My beloved friend,


    I am wondering if you remember our first proper date. Cause I do. Every single detail. Don't know why, we - girls, have to remember like, everything. Makes it so hard when you're trying to forget someone. I remember we went for a tea and ended up walking without a destination. Just walking... It was so easy to be around you. No pressure, no empty conversations, no awkwardness. Even if we didn't discuss where we'll spend the evening, we both agreed tacitly: the lake. We weren't normal people, so we didn't took a seat on the bench. Instead we laid on the grass and watched the stars. It was such a clear sky, such a beautiful evening. I still remember the sound made by crickets and frogs, the light of the moon on your face, your soft voice telling me about your future plans, about the promises you made to God and how you're afraid you're not going to be able to fulfill them. I'm still praying for you, you know? Asking God to guide you, to take care of you and lead you to your purpose. I've told you then and I'm telling you right now: I know it's hard to step out from your comfort  zone. I know it's hard to change. There will be obstacles in your way, giants who will try their best to keep you away from your amazing destiny. You were made for so much more than living, working, getting married and have kids. You were made to do great things. I believe in you, it's time for you to do the same. Follow your dreams! Don't let them fade away. You CAN do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens you. (Philippians 4:13) Remember that, would you?

While I was talking you asked me if I was alright, cause my voice was shaking a little. I tried  to be brave but I couldn't. There were so many things rushing through my mind... Had so much pain in my heart because of Juliette abortion. You saw beyond my fake smile, you knew something wasn't right. It was a nice feeling; to know I have somebody who truly cares about my feelings. You listened to me. You prayed with me. You were such an encouragement for me. I didn't even know how the time past so quickly. Even if I didn't want to, I had to go home cause my parents were expecting me at a decent hour. Hahaha... Yeah, my sweetest parents.
You walked me home, though we could've take your car. I didn't complained. I'm sure we both wanted to spent a little more time together.  It was such a beautiful night... Do you remember? Do you?


                                                                                                     With love,
                                                                                                              Anne

Letters to an old friend ( #1 )

               My dear friend,

        It's been a long time since I've seen your smiling face. Sometimes I'm still thinking about you, wondering  'what if?' I remember the first time I saw your face. It was somewhere around Christmas. I didn't noticed  you at first. I was so shy. The room was so crowded and I barely knew two or three people in there. But then you stand up from where you were sitting and came right to me with a plate full of cookies. You smiled  at me and ask me if I wanted a cookie. I said 'No' but then you insisted and that was it, I had to. You were smiling so beautiful.Then you took a seat beside me and we talked, and talked, and talked. And for a couple of hours I forgot about everything. Then the meeting was over so you took me home. I loved every single    minute of that road. It was like we knew each other since forever. You were such a gentleman. You did not tried to impress me with your sophisticated job nor with your fancy car or anything else. You were you. The  most careful, simple and educated guy I knew. When we finally arrived at my home you opened my car door for me. I thought to myself  " He is something..." On that moment I didn't know if you did it just to leave a good impression or something...but in time I realized that, that was just the way you were. No masks, just  an honest man. I hate masks. I hate when people pretend to be something that they are not. But not you. You were always sincere. Always... It's just... Doesn't matter anymore...

          I have to go now. I have guests. I'll write you soon.

                                                                                                           With love,

                                                                                                                     Anne

I wont fall !

Incerc sa imi gasesc cuvintele... Uneori imi e atat de greu sa scriu ceva, parca mi-ar lipsi orice abilitate de a ma exprima. De obicei asta mi se intampla atunci cand sentimentele imi sunt messed up. In ultimele zile mi-am vazut cerul albastru, frumos, transformandu-se in cel mai urat gri posibil pe lumea asta. Uneori viata poate fi atat de urata... Zilele trecute, mai exact joi, pe cand eram inca la cursuri, am primit o veste proasta. Am facut ce am stiut mai bine. Mi-am tras un zambet pe fata si am parasit sala. Afara ploua incet. Aerul era proaspat si revigorant. Mi-am deschis umbrela si am pasit pe trotuarul umed. Drumul spre casa a fost lung si sec. Nu puteam gandi foarte multe. Cand am ajuns in fata blocului, nu prea aveam chef sa intru inauntru. Asa ca am facut o plimbare. Doar eu, umbrela mea, James Blunt si Dumnezeu. In momentul acela, credeam ca sunt doar eu cu umbrela si cu James. Insa azi pot spune ca Dumnezeu nu m-a parasit, chiar daca am pretins asta cateva zile. Eram suparata si manioasa. De ce a permis sa se intample asa ceva? De ce nu face El nimic? De ce tace? De ce nu e acolo cand aveam nevoie de El? Adevarul e, ca El niciodata nu plecase - eram doar orbita de durere, eram intrigata si nu puteam vedea dincolo de suferinta. Am uitat ca trebuie sa ma incred in Dumnezeu. Am uitat de dragostea Lui, de  promisiunile Lui. Am uitat ca El nu face nimic fara sa nu aiba un scop bine stabilit, un plan care lucreaza spre binele nostru. Inca nu inteleg si nici nu vad cum aceasta ar putea sa se transforme in ceva bun, insa aleg sa ma incred in El. Daca El m-a iubit atat de mult incat si-a sacrificat propriul Fiu pentru mine, macar atat ii datorez - increderea mea. Stiu ca El nu va parasi familia mea sau pe mine.
 In ultimele zile am primit multe incurajari pentru care sunt foarte multumitoare. Unele persoane m-au sfatuit, altii s-au rugat pt mine iar altii mi-au dat imbratisari. M-am simtit cu adevarat binecuvantata si ii multumesc lui Dumnezeu pentru aceste persoane. Daca esti dispus sa vezi... nu ai cum sa nu iti dai seama de dragostea lui Dumnezeu, chiar si atunci cand treci prin probleme. El lasa in viata ta oameni care sa te incurajeze si care sa te iubeasca. Oamenii care sa te sprijineasca, sa-ti stearga lacrimile sau sa planga cu tine :)) Depinde de situatie... Unelte in mana Creatorului. O data, eram acasa la sora mea si aveam grija de nepoteii mei. Nu-mi amintesc exact situatia, dar stiu ca eram suparata si cateva lacrimi si-au facut loc pe obrazul meu. Nepotelul meu, sa fi avut pe atunci 2 ani, a venit la mine, nu a spus nimic, ci doar mi-a sters lacrimile si m-a imbratisat. Era doar un copil dar cumva a stiut ca nu sunt in regula. Am simtit in imbratisarea lui, imbratisarea Tatalui si a fost cea mai dulce imbratisare...amintire pe care o voi pretui intotdeauna. Nu suntem niciodata singuri, si nu inteleg de ce uneori ne incapatanam sa credem asta. De ce atunci cand dam de greu, ne intoarcem imediat sa ii reprosam lui Dumnezeu? De ce ii suntem multumitori doar atunci cand primim lucruri bune, dar atunci cand suntem pusi la incercare, ne razvratim in doi timpi si trei miscari?
As vrea sa iti pot spune de ce Dumnezeu ne incearca uneori. Chiar si eu as vrea sa stiu de ce o face. De ce permite anumite lucruri sa se intample... Stiu doar ca aurul in foc se curateste si ca El vede dincolo de astazi, El cunoaste viitorul. El vede persoana care sunt astazi, persoana care as putea fi si prin ce trebuie sa trec ca sa ajung acolo. Daca am intelege tot ce lucreaza si tot ce are in minte, nu ar mai fi Dumnezeu.
Nu stiu cum e Dumnezeul tau sau cum il vezi tu pe Dumnezeu sau daca ai unul...
Insa iti pot spune despre Dumnezeul meu...Oh... E atat de bun, atat de multa dragoste si pace cata am gasit la El, nu am gasit in lumea intreaga si nimeni nu a putut sa imi dea ce mi-a dat El. Nu stiu de ce sunt incercata, dar azi aleg sa ma incred in El. Il iubesc atat de mult si stiu ca nu ar face nimic sa ma raneasca. Iar daca a sosit timpul ca unele persoane dragi din viata mea sa ma paraseasca, stiu ca El imi va umple golul lasat de plecarea lor. Stiu ca nu ma va parasi si nici nu ma va lasa sa disper. Stiu ca imi va fi intotdeauna aproape, asa cum mi-a fost si pana acum. Mereu credincios, indiferent de comportamentul meu. M-a iertat de nenumarate ori si de nenumarate ori m-a ridicat pe bratele Lui atunci cand nu mai puteam inainta. Stiu ca o va face si de data aceasta. Parca il aud soptindu-mi "Putin credincioasa", privindu-ma trist si apoi aplecandu-se sa ma ridice...
N-am facut nimic sa merit o asemenea dragoste...si totusi o simt in fiecare dimineata inundându-mi inima...

"Iată ce mai gândesc în inima mea şi iată ce mă face să mai trag nădejde:
 bunătăţile Domnului nu s-au sfârşit, îndurările Lui nu sunt la capăt,
 ci se înnoiesc în fiecare dimineaţă. Şi credincioşia Ta este atât de mare! –
 „Domnul este partea mea de moştenire”, zice sufletul meu; de aceea nădăjduiesc în El.
 Domnul este bun cu cine nădăjduieşte în El, cu sufletul care-L caută. "

                                                          ( Plangerile lui Ieremia 3:21-25)

Thoughts (Chapter 8) I love You!

You never give up on me. You are always there, always taking care of me, always loving me. No judgment in your eyes, no hatred in your heart...No matter how many times I let You down, You're always taking me back and all I can see in Your beautiful eyes is LOVE. I can't stop thinking: Why? Why do You care so much? I didn't do anything to deserve such an amazing love. We both know how much I hurt You, but still I always find You near me, ready to forgive me. I don't deserve that, I don't. But I guess this is the beauty of Your grace. You don't owe me anything and still You choose to take care of me, to keep me walking on the waters, to guide me through the darkness.I feel so overwhelmed by Your love and I want the world to know the peace,the freedom and the happiness You can give. If they would only know...




Here is an amazing song from Will Reagan (Unitedpursuitband)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y7h6K13z0I

Lyrics:

I find that I'm safe and warm
In your loving arms

You see me
And You know me
And You love me
Through and through

Bad day...

I had a bad day and I felt the need to write something just to take my mind off it. I'm pretty sad and only one person could make me feel better. Whatever...You don't know who you are! Hahaa

I miss my grandma... I wonder what she would think about me now. She was always there for me when I needed her. She always taught me the best. She was a lovely lady who would've took anyone in her house, feed them and gave them a place to rest their heads. She was an inspiration for me and still is. She was a wise woman with an enormous heart.
I miss Raymond. Raymond was a beautiful doberman and he was my dog. I remember us running together through the woods. I remember him coming to me and lay his head on my legs. I remember his beautiful eyes. I remember that he chocked  one time. I was only 12. I didn't know what to do... I was scared to death. I was looking at him and saw him fighting for his life. I gave him a bucket of water but he tilted it while he was trying to drink from it. I didn't know what to do... :| Well, he didn't die. Finally I took a stick and hit him across the neck... Don't say anything. I was just a little girl, scared and all alone with a dying dog. I saved his life that day... I miss him...
I miss my family. My mom and dad... Though they are not that far away... I still miss them. It really sucks not seeing them all day&night. I miss the smell of a real food...
I miss my elder sister... She's far far away in a beautiful "kingdom". Oh God, how I need her advises right now. At least, I won't have to wait too long cause she's coming home.Yaaay...But until then I'm gonna miss her like crazy and my brother in law too. :D
I miss my childhood friend. I wont say her name. She knows best. We first met when I was in the second or third grade. Since that day and till high school we were inseparable. We went to school together. We came back home from school together. We fought for dolls when we were young...sometimes we fought just to fought. No reason. Childish things. But we always ended up together. We made plans on how we'll gonna move together in Cluj and have our own apartment. That didn't happened. Sadly... We fell apart. It was my fault. And I am sorry for that. I lost a friend. My best friend. I miss her...
I miss my <<fashioniste>> friend. I wont say her name either. She knows best. She is in Wien right now. I didn't saw her for such a long time. Since we've met, she was always there for me. Encouraging me, pushing me for the best, helping me... She is such a beauty and has such an amazing spirit. I can't be sad around her. I just can't...

I miss my nephews Caleb&Hadassa...
I miss ice-cream <3
I miss summer...
I miss rain...
I miss you...Yeah, you! :*